Sunday, March 29, 2009

The Master Cleanse. . . Post Cleanse--an Afterward

Well. . . I woke up to another 2 pound loss this morning! That's SIXTEEN POUNDS since I started the cleanse 11 days ago.

I'm a bit afraid of eating, but I also don't want to turn into Stephen King's 'Thinner' where the guy in the book keeps getting thinner and thinner and thinner until he is near death. . .

I can almost see how doing something like this can become addictive--the 'high' that you get while on it. . . the continuous weight loss. . . the sorry stares from friends and sympathetic looks when you pull out a lemonade drink and say: 'This is all I'm having.'

But I don't plan on doing this anytime again soon---and I don't want to get caught in the morass of staying on it until I become my High School weight again. (although the thought is quite tempting)

I've had some orange slices and some organic veggie broth and I know you are supposed to keep 'juicing' but doggone it, I am so sick of just juice that my mouth AND stomach was doing the talking and telling me to go for a completely different taste.

Chewing into the orange slice was pure heaven and the broth tasted yummy too. So far my stomach hasn't rebelled. . . so I will wait and see what happens later in the day.

I will shut up about this now and resume my usual snarky posting--but for those of you following my cleanse journey I won't say something stupid like: "If I can do this than anybody can do this" But I will tell you that I am usually a wimp when it comes to going without food and I quite surprised myself by how long I managed to stay on the darn thing.

Losing 16 pounds was more than I ever hoped for--rejuvenating my system and getting rid of the allergies that plague me this time of year was what I expected to accomplish. The last time I did this I was off allergy medications for a complete year afterward. And so far, I have no signals that they are starting up again. (which normally by this time of year they would be)

I feel renewed and squeaky clean and just pretty darn good and proud of myself--like the cat that ate the canary. (It's a bad food metaphor and I apologize to all the PETA folks in advance)

Oh, and did I mention that I LOST SIXTEEN POUNDS????

Saturday, March 28, 2009

The Master Cleanse Day TEN. . . Yea! I made it!

Well. . . I'm finally here! It's my last day of the Master Cleanse and I am so happy that I made it all the way.

I'm 14 pounds slimmer. (no extra weight loss this morning) I really do feel good (after that horrible detox session the night of Day Eight) and I can finally anticipate putting back smaller portions of healthier foods in the next coming days to keep my system running great.

I went to a health food store last night to buy few things I would need and as soon as I put my stuff on the counter the cashier says to me: "Oh, so you are Master Cleansing?"

I wondered what gave it away--the tons of lemons, oranges, Omega-3 Capsules, or the boxes of organic vegetable broth?

She told me that she had been doing it every year since she was 20--sometimes for 3 days--sometimes 5 days--and once for 10 days. "It really does help clean and restart your system," she told me.

So I came home feeling pretty good about what I had accomplished and that I might not be so crazy doing this after all, since the cashier was pretty normal looking.

I have some good friends who are doing it again too--and although they ARE crazy, they are a great support and have done even better than I did with weight loss and longevity of staying on the diet.

This journey to health seemed long and short at the same time. I can't explain it any better because I think you'd have to actually go through it to understand.

To anyone who is intrigued by the process and might want to try this detoxing fast/diet I would encourage you to read up on everything you can and become well informed first so you do it the right way. Read the original Master Cleanse book by Stanley Burroughs and the Secrets To A Successful Cleanse (I have provided a link) as well as lots of other information that has since been written about it that you can find on the internet.

Pay attention to your body and how you are feeling and be smart in your choices both during and after the cleanse, no matter how long you decide to stay with it.

Today I feel clean and new and really GOOD so I know I will make it. Now I'm off to drink my morning lemonade and enjoy the outdoors and rain! (ah well. . . it's the northwest, what can I say?)

Unless something changes and I have to report back later I am already going to print my victory statement:

I DID IT! I DID IT! I made it all the way to the end! I made it through DAY TEN!

Friday, March 27, 2009

The Master Cleanse. . . Day NINE. . . Light at the end of the tunnel

Late last night was the worst time of the cleanse for me. I had prided myself on the fact that I wasn't having the 'sick detoxing symptoms' that I read about that many folks experience.

But then. . . It happened! Mr. Toilet and I had a few dates that were just AWFUL! I got the chills, cold sweats, and abdominal pains and rather than go into any more gross details--let's just say that the toxins finally made their grand exit out of my body.

I don't know why it took so long for it to happen--but after it was all over--I was glad that was through! From what I've read, most people experience that the first few days--but I never did--both times I've done this cleanse. I guess the first time I didn't stay on the cleanse long enough to get rid of everything.

I can't say I enjoy getting rid of toxins in such a dramatic fashion--but fortunately it wasn't very long and I woke up feeling much better, although somewhat tired this morning.

I can tell my body is ready to be over and done with this thing. And I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. . .I lost another 1/2 pound! So that's 14 pounds I've lost since I began my journey and tomorrow will be my LAST DAY!

HURRAY! I am dying for something besides lemonade and water.

I am going to begin to wean myself back into other types of juices/broths/foods slowly but surely over the next few days and hopefully my poor stomach will be able to handle it again.

I'm glad to have shrunk my stomach somewhat and I don't plan putting so much in it anymore. I am also glad to have gotten over craving the junky foods I was having from time to time, as well as cleaning out the system and giving myself a fresh start.

And losing 14 pounds in 9 days also has me doing the happy dance--as well as fitting into clothes that I haven't worn in ages because they were starting to get too snug!

This cleanse is not for the weak. It's definitely been MIND over BODY (cravings) for me. I now see myself crossing the finish line and looking and feeling better in the process for having ventured to take the difficult journey.

(the fact that it's only 10 days and not months or years really helps too!)

I am almost at that magic hour of 5:00 p.m. and I feel much better today at this time than I did yesterday so I know I will make it.

Whoohoo! I've gotten through DAY NINE!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

The Master Cleanse. . . Day EIGHT


Happy Birthday to me! I woke up to another 1/2 pound loss. (and it's my birthday)

But I must tell you, last night was VERY HARD. I got very hungry later on in the evening and didn't sleep very well. I kept waking up. . . my mind was racing, I was uncomfortable, and I just couldn't get to sleep.

I wanted so badly just to have a slice of cucumber or Roma tomato. I've been craving things like avocados and yellow peppers and I'm practically tearing up typing about it.

I think today is going to be HARD. . . but I know there are two more days left and I'm just going to will myself to get through them.

Thank goodness I planned my 'exit strategy' well in advance--because I cannot imagine going into ANY food places right now. I've already got some organic fruits and veggies and vegetable broth waiting for me in the fridge along with fresh squeezed organic OJ.

Coming OFF this cleanse is a bit scary because I don't want to shock my body or make myself sick. So it's recommended that you drink organic orange juice, watered down to about half OJ and half water in place of one of the lemonade meals. Then the second day after the fast you can add some pure vegetable broth from veggies you have cooked or buying prepared organic vegetable broth in your health food store. NO VEGGIES mind you, just the broth from cooking them.

Just the thought of having a different taste in my mouth like orange juice or broth is sending me into thoughts of ecstasy.

It is also recommended that you take probiotics to build up the good bacteria in your system again--since you killed off practically everything during the cleanse.

I didn't feel so great last night and this morning I decided to take a probiotic capsule today with my lemonade drink because I don't want to get sick.

It's sheer willpower that's getting me through today--because I'm feeling my yearnings to EAT something in the morning hours, when I usually feel them later on in the afternoon. Perhaps this afternoon and evening I'll be fine again--and if so, that's a trade off I can live with for the next couple of days.

Last night some homemade chocolate chip cookies were brought over to my house in honor of my birthday and Dear Hubby gave me this sad, knowing look. But honestly, even though they looked good, I wasn't tempted to eat them--I really wanted some fresh spinach or a cucumber or carrot. (although I did warn my husband and son that they must save at least one cookie so I can at least taste it in a week or so)

Thank goodness I have tons of stuff to do during the day to keep me busy and keep my mind off food. The early days weren't this hard. . . but maybe because I am coming closer to the end, it is becoming more difficult.

I haven't come this far to blow it now--so I will keep it up. But I am going to ENJOY eating again, that's for sure!

OK--gotta go make some more lemonade mixture. . . I'll report back later.

I'm feeling a bit better now. It's nearly 7:00 p.m. and my energy has actually picked up! I had some organic laxative tea (recommended in secrets book as well as the original one)and even though on a normal day I wouldn't touch the stuff--it wasn't bad and ANYTHING was a nice change from the lemonade!

Yea! I can start thinking about coming off this cleanse. . . and I made it through DAY EIGHT!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The Master Cleanse. . . DAY SEVEN. . . Uncharted Territory

Well. . . just like Homer Simpson said: 'I'm in a place where I don't know where I am.'

This is all new and mystical and different for me. I never made it to this point before. DAY SEVEN! It sounds pretty amazing. AND I lost another pound this morning! That sounds pretty amazing too.

Dear hubby greeted me with: 'You're still alive, aren't you?'

(I think that was his way of saying that he was kinda concerned about this whole thing and since the covers have gotten less bulky, he wanted to make sure I was still under them)

I reassured him that yes, I was still alive. . . still going strong. . . and still doing this!

I laid back in bed to take inventory of my journey and realized that every single morning I have not had to drag myself out of bed. I wake up WIDE awake and ready to go. That blows me away--because my head is telling me that I shouldn't POSSIBLY have any energy or strength since I'm not eating anything--but the way I feel completely defies logic.

I wake up every day alert, clear eyes, and never hungry! At least in the morning. (I know that part will come later in the day) I feel amazing and renewed. I think that's how we are supposed to wake up from our sleep. Honestly, I can't remember feeling this good upon waking up.

The weight loss is a huge bonus, I'm not going to lie about that--and I'm really pleased about that--but I also just FEEL so much better, I feel cleaner and like I am being reborn or something. It's quite hard to describe--it's almost spiritual in nature.

I'm not gonna lie and say it's easy--because it's not. There is still the 'mind thing' that you have to control and the impulses that have developed over time to eat and snack and do what you've done before. And certain smells, pictures, and the presence of food triggers that Pavlovian response and there can be a bit of drooling and longing involved until you get a grip and get over it.

But truly, I have found if you make it to this point--you aren't actually HUNGRY anymore. You miss eating and savoring those amazing flavors--but your body has gotten used to the liquid diet and hunger really isn't a problem for me right now. Wanting to eat and taste is. That's what I have learned to overcome--and I feel more disciplined the longer I do this. I feel I am gaining control over my body and that really inspires me to continue.

Now I can see why folks continue this for 2 weeks, 3 weeks, 4 weeks and even longer. I have no desire to go that long and will be stopping at the suggested 10 days--but now I can see why others do it. There is something empowering by gaining control of your body/impulses and cleansing your mind as well as body and becoming stronger physically/mentally/spiritually.

I will probably have a bit more to say later in the day as I'm just getting started today. . . but so far DAY SEVEN is looking good!

Whew! I'm back and it's now nearly 7:00 p.m. so I can chalk up another successful day. Only 3 more to go! I got a bit hungry this afternoon and tried to keep myself distracted and busy and drink more lemonade during those difficult times. I've been fixing a drink to take with me in the car while I am out and about and that really helps.

Hallelujah! I made it through DAY SEVEN!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Master Cleanse. . . Day SIX. . . The tipping point

This is IT! I am in do or die mode right now. This is the day that I make it or break it. If I make it through DAY SIX I will have achieved something I never have before and set a new record for myself.

(The first time I did the cleanse--DAY SIX was the day I gave up, caved in and ate again)

So I woke up BOUND AND DETERMINED to conquer my demons and somehow get through this day.

And of COURSE, since I was starting my day off so positively--wouldn't you know that I had ZERO weight loss on the scales? My body weight stayed the same as yesterday and I was used to losing 1 to 3 pounds a day--so I was kinda miffed at that.

(So first big thought came of caving in and giving up)

I also got that white coating all over my tongue that I had read others describing and I can't STAND my breath--so I brush like 8 times a day. I'd been seeing the coating on and off since I started--but today it was especially revolting.

(Second big thought came of caving in and giving up)

Then I came across this little gem of wisdom in my morning reading:

"There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth: not going all the way, and not starting." (from Buddha)

Well. . . I DID start this cleanse. . . so I didn't make that mistake.

And I decided that I WILL go all the way. . . so I won't make that mistake!

Since I was all fired up again, I got dressed and ready to face the tasks of the day. And oh joy! Even though I didn't lose any weight--I DID fit into another pair of 'skinny jeans'--so I wore those puppies and faced the world.

One difficult note: I tried to plan so carefully so that I wouldn't have to go BACK to the grocery store because I know how hard that is for me when I'm fasting like this. But dear hubby and son had run out of milk and fruit and some other CHEWING essentials. So I had to enter that enemy territory, 'Safeway'. I saved it for last on my 'to do' list.

It was just as bad as I imagined it. I had gone early on in my fast to pick up one item, and although it was tempting back then--it wasn't as tormenting as it seemed NOW, on Day Six. The produce isle looked so doggone wonderful that I was near tears.

I also ended up getting a few things that I would need after the cleanse so I wouldn't have to come back anytime soon. Traversing down isles and isles of food was extremely difficult. As well as avoiding the 'tastee people'

(Third big thought of caving in and giving up)

Then I got to the car where the bags of food smelled FANTABULOUS next to me.

(Fourth big thought of caving in and giving up)

It was difficult not to pop just a single strawberry or grape in my mouth. But I resisted the temptation and actually put everything away without tearing open a bag to snack on something or eating any remaining crumbs on the counter.

It is now almost 5:00 p.m. and I know I will make it. I also know I will make it the REST of the way through as well. It's much easier to think I only have 3 days left to go--then 5 or 6 or 7 back when I started.

(No more thoughts of caving in or giving up)

My skin looks great, my eyes are clean--my mind is SUPER ACTIVE and on red alert. I have the most VIVID dreams at night (and I can't remember dreaming in a long time) My clothes fit better and I've lost 12 pounds so far. I have to keep reminding myself of all these positive changes when I feel I am 'chewing deprived' and want to actually EAT something.

And the best news is. . . I made it through DAY SIX!

Monday, March 23, 2009

The Master Cleanse. . . Day FIVE. . . (I'm still alive!)

Whoopee-de-do! I tell ya, I woke up feeling GREAT this morning. No hunger pains, mind clear and active, my eyes and skin look so 'fresh' and I lost another TWO POUNDS.

Just in case you didn't catch that last part, I'll repeat: I lost another TWO POUNDS! (for any of you that have been following my journey--that's 12 pounds in 5 days)

My my! That's TWELVE WHOLE POUNDS since I started the cleanse. . . and if that isn't motivation enough to stay on it--then sell me a cheeseburger and call me chunky. MAN! I'm a happy camper. I don't have to squeeze into my jeans anymore.

I was a bit skeptical that Beyonce Knowles lost 20 pounds doing the cleanse to slim down for a role in a new film. . . . but now, by George, I think it can be done!

(and no, I'm not slimming down for a role in a new film) Oh wait! Maybe I am. Maybe it's the film where I change my lifestyle and stick to a healthier diet. Pretty boring stuff for the masses--but a major hit for me if I can pull it off.

I've got a BUNCH of stuff to get done this morning. So I'll update if necessary later. . . I'm off to the races in skinnier jeans and feeling FAB! And I'm HALFWAY DONE!

Yea! There's a lite at the end of this lemonade tunnel. . .

OK, I'm back to report. . . I had a lot of stuff to do today which kept me busy and somewhat off the 'gimme solid food' train of thought--but by the time I got back to the ole' homestead late this afternoon the HUNGER pangs came with a vengeance. Of course I thought of giving in---but then, I got a hold of myself had some MORE luscious lemonade and just used sheer willpower to convince myself that it is worth it.

And actually, it IS worth it--it's just that when you are in the throes of wanting to chew something savory and are so sick of the taste of lemonade it gets kinda tough. It's now past 5:00 p.m. and I feel I can do this--so I've gotten a grip and I will make it through another day. . .

Thank goodness for my handy-dandy DVR--when I watch TV tonight, I will be fast forwarding through all those tempting snack and food commercials and getting right to the show. (sipping my lemonade, of course)

Mentally I'm feeling very good right now because at this point the last time I did this, I just knew I was going to give up the next day--and I fulfilled that prophecy by actually doing so. THIS time I really see myself going the WHOLE WAY THROUGH. I've been visualizing the 10th day and what it will be like and I know I won't give up.

YES! YES! YES! I made it through DAY FIVE!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

The Master Cleanse. . . Day FOUR

I think I can. . . I think I can. . . I think I can. . . That's what I keep saying to myself as I chug along this liquid fast.

I do remember that the first time I did the cleanse, about this time I was so fatigued and dizzy and achy that I wanted to give up. THIS time around has been much better. I seriously think you have to do it once to do it RIGHT (or do it better) the second time around. . .At least that has been my experience.

My mind is so clear and active it's scary (no wonder people hallucinate on it) I woke up to another pound gone. YIPEE! So that's 10 pounds I've lost since I've started this thing.

When the hunger got to me this afternoon, (I call it my mid-day madness) I added a bit of wheat grass to some water. This was another 'secret' I learned from the book. Wheat grass also helps in cleansing, boosts the immune system, helps balance the body's pH level, adds a bit of protein (about 2/%) and a whopping 35 calories--so you don't feel like you are starving quite so much.

It was like drinking pulverized grass. . . but after I gagged it down and then had my lemonade elixir I wasn't quite so famished anymore.

The next two days will be the tipping point for me to see if I can go on and complete it or not. . .

I know my friends (and some of my family members) are already mad at me because my birthday comes next week and I will still be on the cleanse. . . I've already been chided by friends and relatives to the tune of: 'How the snot are we supposed to celebrate if you aren't going to be eating??!!'

I just ask that they indulge me for a bit and postpone the merriment until the weekend after my birthday.

I've come to the conclusion that there never is a good time to do this--at least in my case. Something ALWAYS comes up. Last time it was a friend's son's wedding and we had already committed to the dinner weeks before I even thought about doing the cleanse. I went and had a great time socializing with everyone and I had a friend who graciously ate my plate AND his--so the food would not go to waste! (And thank you, you know who you are!) He also managed to snag an extra dessert for himself in my honor--so I'm sure my 'cleansing' went unnoticed at our table.

I'm a bit touched that doing this during my birthday week would cause such a stir--but I've let my dear family and good friends know that this is a present that I want to give myself and I hope they understand.

Dear hubby has been so supportive. . . today, while he and youngest son were eating lunch I went to take a nap to be away from those 'wonderful food smells'. He came in a bit later to lay down beside me and see how I was doing. It took less than 2 seconds before I exclaimed:

Me: You've had Doritos.

Dear Hubby: What?

Me: I can smell chips and a hint of salsa on your breath.

Dear Hubby bolts up, goes to the bathroom, gargles for a bit, comes back and says:

There. Is that better?

Me: Yep! Now you smell like Listerine and I can't stand Listerine so I guess I can tolerate you now.

Sheesh! My nose is so 'food sensitive' right now. It reminds me of the time when I was pregnant. The only difference is back then, food smells would make me sick. Now--food smells make me RAVENOUS! Even stale popcorn kernels found on the family room floor smell WONDERFUL. The guys have been making sure to clean up everything so I won't smell the remains of whatever they have had. . . but somehow I still manage to catch faint traces left on their clothing in their wake. Or, if there are crumbs and old food particles left in the sink, rather than get grossed out--I heave a heartfelt sigh of what culinary concoctions they once were and bid a tearful farewell as I run them down the drain.

But HEY! It's all good! I have made it PAST that dreaded 5:00 p.m. and tomorrow I will be HALFWAY DONE!

This gets me to thinking about how I will plan my exit strategy. . .

I made it through DAY FOUR!

Saturday, March 21, 2009

The Master Cleanse. . . Day THREE. . . I'm HUNGRY!

Well. . . I will probably add more later to this post--but I wanted to jump in and write right away--because I lost another pound and a half! Really--that's what keeps me motivated. . . but I must admit, I am a bit HUNGRY!

I don't actually wake up hungry--but doing stuff throughout the day I find all these little signals going off in my head of where I would normally take in food.

It's amazing to me how much mindless eating I was doing throughout my day. Watching TV is the worst--because that triggers a response for me to go to the cupboard or fridge to get something to snack on. (And let's face it, those mouth-watering food commercials don't help)

Also, when I'm out running errands or shopping (particularly grocery shopping) there are all these 'tastees' everywhere and I would gravitate over to just take a look-see (as well as a taste or two) of whatever was being offered. But NOT THIS WEEK, BUDDY! I just stay focused on task and get whatever I need and get out of there! Also, I have been able to resist the urge to drive through one of those fast food restaurants just to get a drink or a snack going through the motions of my day.

I am realizing how much needless, mindless eating/snacking I was doing all the time--and although I'm a pretty fit and active individual--I still have some pudge on my frame that I'm not proud of and when I think of all the toxic foods that have found their way into my pie hole over this past year and a half (since I last did the cleanse) it makes me glad I am finally doing something to get rid of it.

It's like cleaning out the sludge in the pipes and shining up the chrome on your car, and adding a boost to your transmission fluid as well as slimming down that chassis--and why the heck am I droning on about an automobile metaphor???? I'm sure you get the point. . .

I'm pretty determined to keep on with this. . . and I'll report back later on how the rest of the day went. . . right now it's time for a walk and some relaxing yoga afterward. . .


OK! Back for another update. . . I feel a bit better after doing some stretching, yoga, and relaxed breathing. Also I managed to do the salt water flush this morning--although downing all that warm salt water brought tears to my eyes and almost made me HURL!

Another thing that made me feel fabulous and boosted my spirits was taking a hot Epsom Salts bath. (again, I got this tip from the 'Secrets To a Successful Cleanse') The salt bath also pulls out toxins through your skin (largest organ of your body) and I really felt so clean and pure afterward. . .

I do so terribly miss the thrill of CHEWING on something--anything, the couch cushions for Heaven's Sake! I don't really feel HUNGRY per see, downing all that lemonade/syrup/pepper drink--but there is something to be said for actually mashing your teeth down on something and swallowing it. (not to mention the fabulous TASTE of whatever that concoction might be)

But I have a better attitude and desire to complete the darn thing this time around--so I will somehow sip my way through this cleanse and complete it.

I'm right in the middle of my 'mid-day crisis'. . . once that's over, I should settle down and be glad I made it through another day and get ready for the next one.

Truth be told--I got a bit hungry AFTER 5:00 p.m. today--and dear hubby and my youngest son were good enough to go out for pizza so I wouldn't have to be around any cooking smells. (much less see them EAT) They even wrapped the extra pizza they brought home OUTSIDE and put it away in the fridge before I could even sense it was there! (how thoughtful)

Dear hubby cracked me up, because I could see his face peering in the family room window looking around to see if I was there. (and I was)

Me: (sitting on the couch, looking at my dear hubby's face peering in the window) What are you doing?

Dear hubby: I'm trying to see if the coast is clear.

Me: What do you mean?

Dear hubby: Well, your son and I have some extra pizza out here we are wrapping up and I didn't want to parade it in front of you.

Me: Good idea--I'm out of here! (and with that, I scram)

Oh, that dear hubby of mine is so thoughtful. (never mind the fact that I am still cringing wondering WHERE THE SNOT they went to get pizza and what kind it was and did it have extra cheese????)

But hey! I made it! I made it through DAY THREE!

Friday, March 20, 2009

The Master Cleanse. . . Day TWO

This is the character 'Kelly Kapoor' from the TV series 'The Office'--who supposedly went on the Master Cleanse (lemonade diet) and ended up getting sick and passing out. (if you watched the weight loss episodes)

Well. . . not so with THIS master cleanser! I've managed to get through DAY TWO just fine, thank you very much. I even went to a movie with a good friend. . . and although I thought I would cave in with that smell of movie popcorn all around me, I didn't. I stuck to my guns and lasted all the way through the day--but I did pass up an opportunity to go out to dinner with friends this evening--because it's VERY HARD to be around people eating and all those WONDERFUL SMELLS. . .

I do want to continue being social--but I just have to take a rain check on some of the 'food invitations' until I feel I have this 'lemonade diet' under control. . .

And as I'm typing this--I've made it to that magic 5:00 p.m. hour which (for me) seems to be the tipping point. If I can get all the way to five in the evening, I can make it through the rest of the night. Mid day is when I get a bit 'out of sorts'. . .

Now if I can just get past DAY THREE (tomorrow) I think I will be able to go the distance. . . they say the 3rd day is the worst (kinda like having that 3rd kid) but if you can get past THAT--well, then you can do anything.

Oh! And I am MUCHO MOTIVATED to keep plugging right along---because I've had a SEVEN POUND weight loss these past two days!!!

I know that's not normal--and it's mostly just waste and water weight at this point--but hey! If I keep exercising and eating right, after I detox, it's the weight loss AFTERWARD that I am really excited about. I want to see if I can keep that weight off, eat healthier, and STAY thinner!

OK--off for my daily walk. . . .

Yea! I've made it through DAY TWO!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

The Master Cleanse. . . Yep! I'm DOING IT!

Confession time:

My birthday is coming next week. . . spring is fast falling upon us. . . and I wanna look and feel FABULOUS. (and truth be told, I need to get back in shape)

About a year and a half ago I tried this Master Cleanse Detox program with a couple of friends. It is supposed to last for 10 days and detoxes and flushes your body--and the great side effect (besides feeling great afterward) is that you can lose weight FAST! (who doesn't wanna do that?)

I only lasted 6 days on it. . .(you're supposed to do it for 10). . .and I did manage to lose 8 pounds---but the really cool thing was that my allergies went away. I felt FABULOUS when it was over (NOT while I was on it) And I only wanted to eat HEALTHY things and did so for almost 6 months afterward!

I remember how much energy I had and how much better I felt. . . but like anything else--bad habits began to creep in again--and I haven't been eating as healthy as I used to. . . so I'm tryin' it again!

I feel this will just add some KICK to my SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE DIET and give me a bit of a boost so that when I DO again put things in my pie hole--they are better choices.

Today--I began my cleanse and THIS time to combat the hunger and fatigue that I felt the first time--I found these SECRETS that supposedly lead to success. I want to FINISH it this time. . . so I'm arming myself with all the stuff that's supposed to help me keep on keeping on while I'm on it. . .(I've provided the link below in case any of my blogger friends are interested)

I'm going to be reporting each day how I'm doing and how I REALLY feel. . . so you can decide if this is doable or not--and hopefully I can get through the entire TEN days.

Today (being the first day) is pretty exciting and easy--because with anything new, I was pretty jazzed to get started.

I tried the psyllium husks in water as my first drink (revealed in the secrets book) to add fiber and help me feel fuller. . . and it actually WORKED!

I did get a few hunger pangs around lunch time--but just drank more of the lemonade drink and water. . . for me, I've found that if I can make it through to 5:00 p.m.--I am as GOOD AS GOLD for the rest of the day--because for some reason, I don't seem to get hungry after 5:00 p.m when I'm on the cleanse.

It's GETTING to 5:00 p.m. that is the problem.

I ventured out for a walk this afternoon as well---and I haven't exercised in WEEKS because of a broken toe that is still healing. . . but I took a nice, leisurely walk and felt pretty good afterward.

I made it through DAY ONE! Let's see what happens on day two. . .

Monday, March 16, 2009

Weekend At Nana's. . . .

When the cat's away. . . the lil' kitties come to Nana's house. At least that's what happened around here last weekend.

Dear daughter and her hubby went on a little trip to Seattle for some R&R before the THIRD member of their litter descends upon them with a vengeance this summer. . .

So that meant that ole' 'G-Pa' and I got to watch the little bunchkins while mama and dada were gone. . .

And that of course meant a BIG OLE' TRIP to 'Toys R Us' and some NEW STUFF to play with!

It also meant time for G-Pa to catch a friendly little critter and have the boys feed him some apples before letting him go on his merry way to scavenge at other folks houses. The boys came out early Saturday morning to see what was in the trap. (and YES, Peta folks, it's a HUMANE trap--no one got injured, least of all the surprise guest)

The 'temporary guest' turned out to be 'Mr. Possum':

And the boys were pretty impressed with him:

Oh! And the reason you see Sam with his hand in his pockets, is because after he tried feeding Mr. Possum an apple slice and watching him tear into it with gusto--he decided he'd best keep his hands safely tucked away until Mr. Possum was done and we let him go. . .

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I have GOT to get me one of these! Tabletop Comptuers. . . what next?

A good friend made me salivate for a new technological toy when she sent me this Youtube video in an e-mail:

I'm thinking I definitely NEED one of these! I guess it's good I have a couple of years to save up my pennies. . .

What will they think of next?

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

How long does it take.???

Ahhh. . . that dreaded tax season is upon us--and I thought that I would point out some significant time facts for you--since many of us are under a time crunch right now to get those taxes done before 'the tax man cometh' on April 15th.

And even though selected congressmen like Charlie Rangel can get out of paying taxes for over 10 years without any penalties (AND write the tax code, for cryin' out loud)--the rest of us plebes must pay the piper, ON TIME, no breaks or special favors, end of story:

So here's how long some things take to give you a bit of a perspective:

  • 1 second for a hummingbird's wings to beat 70 times
  • 3 seconds for 475 lawsuits to be filed around the world
  • 4 seconds for 3,000,000 gallons of water to flow over Niagara Falls
  • 5 seconds between blinks of a human eye
  • 10 seconds for 50 folks to be born
  • 20 seconds for a really fast talker to say 100 words
  • 30 seconds average between breaths
  • 1 minute to touch the football 341 times with only the head, while keeping it in the air (actually done by Zheng Da Zong Yi in Beijing, China)
  • 45 minutes to reach an actual person when calling the IRS during tax time

Don't stress about it--just get with your congressperson. Chances are they know some really good ways to avoid paying taxes altogether. . . Just ask the newly confirmed Secretary of the Treasury , Tim Geithner:

After being busted for not filing or paying his federal income taxes for four years, Geithner finally paid his debt for the two more recent years--but NOT the two years prior. (apparently he got a break because the statute of limitations had run out on those years) It is very telling that only AFTER being nominated to Obama’s cabinet did Geithner pay up some of his debt. And what did President Obama say about this? He called it “... a common mistake.”

Senator Tom Dashchle has had his own problems with the tax man as well. It is interesting to note that while he was senator he screamed long and loud that citizens not compliant with the IRS be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Does that mean he will be prosecuted?

The list could go on forever--but suffice it to say that things are different for 'us' versus 'them'. . . so take a few seconds to blink and breathe. . . and then think about filing those taxes. . .because statistics tell us that it takes 28 hours and 30 minutes on average to fill out a tax form. . . (and that's if you know what you are doing)

Good luck!

Monday, March 9, 2009

Hudson River Crash Pilot--A Modern Day Hero

There are events in life where you are just amazed and astounded and truly count your blessings. . . Modern miracles and modern heroes are all around us and I just wanted to stop and pause and reflect on one from a recent event. . .

On January 15th of this year a US Airways Airbus 320 safely landed in the Hudson River off the shores of Manhattan without any fatalities! That pilot, rightly so, is being hailed as a hero. In my book he is most DEFINITELY a hero!

Chesley B. Sullenburger III was the pilot and this man flew F-4 fighter jets with the Air Force in the 1970s.

(That's the kind of guy you want flying your plane when something goes wrong and it is hurtling back to earth)

He had a pretty savvy co-pilot with him--who I also think deserves the 'Hero' title as well:

First Officer Jeffrey B. Skiles

What amazes me about these men is how CALM they were in the face of catastrophe. The pilot went through the plane TWICE to be sure everyone was safely off the plane before making the exit himself.

Here is a simulation of the crash with the ACTUAL AUDIO--it was less than 2 minutes when the pilot reported the 'bird strike' problem, till the plane crash landed in the Hudson. And he was so CALM! I was so impressed:

And the fact that there were rescuers and first responders within MINUTES on that river to help the crash victims is truly amazing as well. LOTS of heroes that day. It just gives me a great feeling that there is still hope and love and healing in this world. . .

Kudos to all those folks who helped in the rescue--modern day heroes! And what a blessing and miracle for all 155 people on board that flight who came away unharmed from that crash!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

The Bachelor. . . After the Rose.. . . (or should we say: After the Fallout?)

And we wonder why there's a 50% divorce rate in America? PLU-EASE!

I wasn't going to even bother posting this (since there are already a plethora of blogs about it) but, I thought, ya know, since I've been married 31+ years--I just MIGHT have something to say about this subject!

Truth be told--I've never even watched this show before. . . I mean the whole concept is just pure entertainment fantasy. Lining up 25 (desperate) women to make a pitch to meet and marry some guy at the end of 8 weeks of taping is a pretty far fetched concept, if you are claiming this is 'REALITY TV'. . .

But wait! This is America--the land of free choice--and actually some people take more time picking out curtain patterns than they do picking out a mate. . . so the concept is NOT beyond reason. (and the contestants themselves SWEAR their feelings are 'real' and 'honest') Oh, PLEASE!

Remember the other ideas for reality shows? 'Temptation Island'? Yeah, that was a GREAT idea--getting couples together, and then separating them and tempting them to be unfaithful to see if they would remain true to their partners. Boy! That show lasted all of one season--along with this beaut: 'Who wants to marry a millionaire?' Again, what a flop--since the 'chosen' one ended up NOT marrying the millionaire dweeb after all. . .

Back to THIS show. . . a friend caught me up to speed and BEGGED that I watch it, just for fun--so I watched the last few episodes right up to the finale where our dashing bachelor proposed to Melissa. . . then 6 weeks later broke up with her on national TV to go for Molly (the one he dumped previously on the show)

Here is the 'Bachelor' Jason Mesnick, a single dad from Seattle:

Can he even be called a 'bachelor'??? I mean he WAS married before and fathered a son. Why not call him a divorced man, or single dad? According to the dictionary the word 'bachelor' means:

1. An unmarried man.

2. A male animal that does not mate during the breeding season, especially a young male fur seal kept from the breeding territory by older males.

3. A person who holds a first degree from a university or college.

4. A young knight in the service of another knight in feudal times.

OK--he is CURRENTLY unmarried. But, face it, the guy HAD been married before. AND I'm certain that he mated during the breeding season, because, after all--he fathered a son. So he broke that one! As for the other two definitions. . . well, you can look up his stats on that yourselves. . .

And here are the two women he duped dumped--Melissa and Molly:

The first girl (Melissa) he proposed to on the show, dumping the second girl (Molly) in the process.

But wait! He changes his mind! And so 6 weeks later he comes BACK on the show to dump his fiance (Melissa) for the first dumpee (Molly)

I'm sure, if he kept a Rolodex handy with some of the former contestants names and numbers, he'll be dumping Molly pretty soon for Jillian, (and begging her not to become the new Bachelorette) or one of the others.

The guy has an attention span the size of a gnat--and from what I saw he had mostly a grand 'make-out fest' with the women before he finally settled down to hopefully score a bit more with one (or two) of them. . .

The sad thing is that this guy actually thinks that love is a FEELING that you can fall in and out of--sort of like walking through a revolving door. (great concept to teach his young son) He claims he was being honest and true with his FEELINGS and was sorry he had to hurt people along the way--but he had to be true to himself.

He says he was really in love with Melissa at the time he proposed to her--but weeks later his feelings were not the same. (Hmmmm. . . wonder why he's divorced?) Now he says he's in love with Molly--(and what's the guarantee that those 'feelings' will last?)

What surprises me is the WOMEN!! For goodness sake, girls, get a GRIP! How could Molly, who thought that Jason really loved her and would propose to her, get DUMPED for another woman--and then weeks later watch this guy dump THAT woman on TV--then turn around in mere minutes and ask for another shot with her?

And she TOOK it!!!! Because of course, that would NEVER happen to her. (even though, it already did once!) Are folks really this shallow/desperate/crazy? Or is this all scripted and folks really crave that 15 minutes of fame???

Either way. . . the show is very telling about what is really wrong with society today.

And I'm told that in 13 Seasons of this show--only 1 couple actually married and stayed together (so far) So that tells me that going on the show only gives you a 1 in 13 shot (for now) of making it as a happy couple. Whereas, if you tried it on your own--you at least have a 50/50 shot in this country.

But then again, if you did find someone on your own--you risk not getting a bunch of roses, and have less of a chance of going on a date with 4 other girls as well as your guy--and watching him make out with all of them before he puts his lips on yours. Not to mention the fact that you get to go to exotic locations and drink and fight with the other women and then talk about them behind their back. PLUS you get to come and hash out your hurt and disappointments on national TV with the handsome host. . . AND you might get noticed for 15 minutes!!!

It's something to consider. . .

Oh--and hey! This is pretty funny and takes about a minute. Jimmy Kimmel grills Jason after the show's wrap up this week: (Gotta love that Jimmy!)

Monday, March 2, 2009

Warning Labels. . . .


(Reading this could actually cause brain synapses to fire and connect)

You know, some things in life should go without saying. . . but then there are always those PATHETIC souls who screw it up for the rest of us and must be warned not to use a blowtorch while napping.

Have you ever read the back of a product (or outer wrapper) and seen the TOTALLY OBVIOUS warning labels? I mean come on! Who doesn't know NOT to use hair coloring as an ice cream topping?

While shopping the other day and trying to find the instructions amid the GLARING warning labels on products I was purchasing--I stopped and took note.

Here's my thought: If the stupid warning actually made it on the product container, how many times was it actually attempted before 'the powers that be' decided they better give the public fair warning? Twice? Thrice? A whole bunch of lawsuits later?

Let me save you some grief, dear bloggers. I'm going to put myself out there and save you some time and put some of the WHAT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS warning labels right here in this post for you.

(And don't say I didn't warn you)

Actual Warning Labels on Products:

  • In a microwave oven manual: 'Do not use for drying pets'
  • On a toilet bowl cleaning brush: 'Do not use orally'
  • On a curling iron: 'Warning: This product can burn eyes. For external use only'
  • On a cardboard sunshield for car: 'Do not drive with sunshield in place'
  • On a baby stroller: 'Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage'
  • On a hair dryer: 'Do not use in shower. Do not use while sleeping or unconscious.'
  • On an electric rotary tool: 'This product not intended for use as a dental drill'
  • On an iron: 'Do not iron clothes on body'
  • On a digital thermometer: 'Do not use orally after using rectally'
  • On a chainsaw: 'Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand'
  • On a package of hammers: 'May be harmful if swallowed'
  • On a vacuum cleaner: 'Do not use to pick up anything that is currently burning'

I think you get the point. The question remains, did people actually try to do this stuff? They must have, if we have to have a warning label about it. . . after all--the folks in charge would never waste our time with nonsense and information that we could figure out for ourselves.

From now on, just to be safe--I will peruse that 'warning label' most carefully. I want to be sure that I don't miss anything.

After all--I could have totally blown it when buying my latest purchase of Dial soap. The package said: 'Use like regular soap' Had I not been paying attention to that warning--I could have used it like irregular soap or (Heaven forbid!) something quite different altogether. . .