Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Honk. . . if you love Jesus!

Oh my! I have learned something quite interesting recently which I must share with my blogger fans. . .

I had been listening to part of a radio program hosted by Dr. Dean Edell--where he was talking about the types of people who put bumper stickers on their cars and what you can expect from them.

I was driving about, doing my morning errands while listening to this amazing declaration that the folks most likely to exhibit road rage, and the folks to watch out for, and would display the most erratic behavior on the road are the very folks who have all kinds of 'slogans' and words of wisdom and cute little 'honor student on board' signs all over their cars.

Apparently these cars with stickers on them are:

1) More likely to get into accidents

2) More likely to display road rage

3) More likely to be idiots

I have no idea how statistically accurate this observation by Dr. Edell was--but I was smiling to myself, thinking how in the world could a person with 'Peace in my lifetime' or 'Stop Obama Express' or 'I May Be Slow, But I'm Ahead Of You' on the back of their car make them more likely to have a problem then the rest of us driving 'unstickered' cars?

I was about to find out--because shortly thereafter Dr. Edell's thesis was put to the test. Let me set the scene for you:

I'm driving along in my clean, unblemished, 'no stickers whatsoever' car--when shooting out from the right lane--cutting into MY lane and missing my passenger side front bumper by mere inches, comes a rather beat up Honda Accord with some guy frantically honking his horn, sticking his hand out the driver's side window with his middle finger prominently displayed and yelling some salty phrases at the top of his lungs!

He kept right on shooting across--past my lane--into the left lane, nearly hitting a small Toyota truck, going at full speed with the same gesticulating, horn-honking and brusque language.

He nearly caused SEVERAL accidents as many of us were now slamming on our breaks, gasping in shock and honking horns as well!

But the BEST part was--the large 'Honk If You Love Jesus' bumper sticker on the back of his vehicle--along with two more precious gems: 'Jesus Is Coming, and Boy Is He Cheesed' and 'Don't Follow Me, Follow Jesus' (now that LAST one seemed to be VERY appropriate in the case of this crazy driver)

Needless to say, I was pretty shocked, perplexed, agitated and amused all at the same time!

Now I have yet ANOTHER THING to be wary of while driving along life's highways and byways--watching out for cars with bumper stickers!

I thought about putting a 'BEWARE OF CARS WITH BUMPER STICKERS' on the back of my own car--but that would sort of defeat the purpose and make me look oxymoronic.

I made sure as I kept to the speed limit on the drive back home to give the bumper-stickered cars a wide berth. . .

But I couldn't help reading them as they passed me by:

'Friends Don't Let Friends Drink Starbucks'

'Are You As Close To God As You Are My Bumper?'

'He Who Dies With The Most Toys Is Still Dead'

'I'm For Peace--Now Get Off My Tail!'

'Ted Kennedy's Car Has Killed More People Than My Gun'

'Don't Be A Girlyman'

'SUVs Are Tangible Evidence Of Evil' (of course this one was on the back of an SUV!)'

'Suburbia: Where They Tear Out The Trees & Then Name streets After Them'

and my personal favorite of the day. . . .

'Save The Earth. It's The Only Planet With Chocolate'

Thank goodness I made Dear Hubby remove his one and only bumper sticker AGES ago. . . (we even got rid of the car it was on!)

And no--you DON'T want to know what it said!

Saturday, July 19, 2008

At last--the mystery is solved!

Dear hubby and I attended a wedding reception a few weeks ago and one of our friends was the Dee-Jay for the evening.

The dinner was FABULOUS--the music was super--and best of all, folks got out on the dance floor and really 'cut the rug'! (well in this case, it was actually a parquet floor--but you get the point)

I requested some '70's disco music, and my friend was only too happy to oblige. Whereupon dear hubby went NUTS on the dance floor--trying to strut his stuff in true John Travolta/Michael Jackson style. . .and his side-kick (me) was also dancing right along with him.

He created quite the stir among the guests--and for a while there, everyone else stopped dancing to watch the 'ole' man' do his thing. (which was pretty amazing, considering his age)

Our oldest son became a break dancer and danced for his sister's and his own wedding. And many people already knew how good our son could dance. But they were a bit surprised to find out that the acorn didn't fall too far from the tree. To say they were SHOCKED that my dear hubby could dance was an understatement.

I happened upon some rare, never-before-seen footage of dear hubby and myself, dancing at ANOTHER wedding. . . and you can see--the guy has STILL GOT It GOING ON!

Just for the record--we are not taking requests at the present time. . . our dance card is completely filled up for the summer--but if you are planning a late fall or early winter wedding--do give us a call. . .

Send a JibJab Sendables® eCard Today!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

What one nutty weekend can do. . .

Ya know, when you've had such a LONG, COLD, RAINY spring and finally get some semblance of actual summer weather and decide to head to the coast for the weekend with friends--well things can get a little CRAZY!

This past weekend, dear hubby and I decided to give the coast another shot--and this time we went with some friends (as well as dear daughter & her family) just to see if the change of scenery (and the change of faces) would be an improvement.

As you can tell from the photos---the weather was so HOT--we had to wear shades!

It really was quite nice to bask in the sun and burn ourselves to a crisp.

I actually managed to get into the ocean water with my lil' grandsons. 'But wait!' I can hear you say. 'Isn't the ocean along the Oregon coast EXTREMELY cold?'

My answer: YES it is! But once the hypothermia sets in--you don't feel a thing!

The boardwalk at Seaside was full of fun and activities and Sam & Max enjoyed the Carousel ride.

Meanwhile, one of our friends was extremely baffled at what in tarnation that 'big yellow ball-thing' was up in the sky. . . (it had been usually covered up most of the time by clouds and a thing referred to as 'overcast')

Rest assured, that he finally figured out it was indeed THE SUN--and we all enjoyed it immensely this past weekend.

Thanks to our wonderful friends who hosted us and put up with all our 'antics'!


Monday, July 14, 2008

The new 'politically correct' grading system

Well, well, well! What will they think of next???

My youngest son had to go to his high school to get his 'official transcript' since they somehow forgot to mail his final grades out after the school term ended this past June.

And the 'new, improved' grading system I found on that parchment was a WONDER TO BEHOLD!

You can actually receive grades like:

BM ( a B grade Modified--which means your B grade actually could have taken a 'dump' to a C--but we left it alone for now)

Or. . .

DH (a D grade with Honors! Fer cryin' out loud! Now you can get a below passing grade WITH HONORS! Which means technically you were too stupid for us to bump up to a C- or something, so we're gonna put an EXTRA BIG SMILEY FACE by your D to make you feel better)

Or. . .

FH (an F grade with Honors--which means you failed, but you did it with style--and that's really hard to do, so kudos to YOU!)

Or. . .

PM (which is Passing Modified--which means. . . who the heck knows? We're gonna pass you--but we are gonna have to have a hall monitor tail you around for a few days to make sure that you can find your locker)

Or. . .

AM (a A that has been Modified--which basically means, this SHOULD have been a B--but we know you are a totally anal student who will end up getting your parents to protest and sue the entire school board, so we're gonna give you that A--but realize it's a tenuous line you are walking here--so stress yourself out, and SHAPE UP!)

Or. . .

WBF (Withdrawn But Fine--We reserve the right to withdraw the original grade we gave you--but not to worry, you are just fine--you may end up with a BM in PM after you retake your classes in the AM)

Or a slew of other acronyms that it would take me far too long to explain. . .
But rest assured, I am so happy that FINALLY 'no child will be left behind'!! Yep! No child's feelings will ever be hurt again--those pesky A, B, C, D, and F grades are a thing of the past. . .

Kids cannot be just an 'A' student anymore. They can be AM--(Average Modified) or AH (Average with Honors) or ASS (Average Super Student)

I must say, some of these new grades had me baffled--but then I thought, heck! Why not have some FUN with these acronyms and really tell it like it is?

Why give the standard 'I' for an 'incomplete' grade? (You know, the class you completely skipped or screwed up in) Why not throw in an appropriate acronym and tell the whole story? Such as:

IRA (Incomplete but Really Attempted)

Or better yet--ICON (Incomplete, Capable Of Nothing)

Or the creme de la creme--IDIOTS (Incompetent Dolt whose Ignorance Is Off The Scorecard)

Hey! Now that's something I could really get behind. . .

Don't say you weren't warned about the new grading system.

And don't be fooled when little Johnny and Susie come home and tell you that they are an 'A' student. You need to delve a little deeper and find out if they are an AH, an AM, an AD, or ADHD. . . or something else entirely. . .

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Happy July 4th!

Yes indeedy! July 4th 2008 turned out to be a RIP 'ROARIN' time for our little PYROFREAK family. . . .

Starting off with a little number manufactured especially by 'J-Man' just before we took off for a weekend at the Oregon coast. . .

We spent the weekend on the Oregon Coast at Nehalem Bay, Hug Point and Manzanita Beach.

This is 'G-Pa' pretending he is KING OF THE WORLD!

Next we have Sam, Max and J-Man. . . then G-Pa & Sam appreciating all the 'coastal creatures'

Then we have dear daughter with Max and me with Sam. . . and EGADS! Was I making a fashion statement or WHAT? (actually it WAS a bit rainy at the parade--but I think I went a bit OVERBOARD!)

We had such a fun time with our daughter and her hubby and the boys. The beach, the parade, the food, the games, the fireworks show. . .the potato cannon fiasco! Thanks for inviting us for such a DOGGONE GOOD TIME!

What a GREAT 4th Of July!

Max turned TWO!

OK, OK, I am not going up for 'Nana of the year award' anytime soon. . .

But needless to say--my beloved second grandson, Max had his second birthday this past June and what with the MAYHEM and CHAOS and downright TOMFOOLERY going on--I didn't write a single thing about it!


Sooo. . . I am posting some pictures to make up for it. . . and suffice it to say--the little guy had a VERY happy birthday--trotting all around the U.S. to California, Idaho, Hawaii, the Oregon coast, and even Nana's house to spend the night.

Oh! And 'G-Pa' even climbed a tree in his honor! (Don't ask, I have NO earthly idea why. . .)

Sam decides to get a little 'tree action' himself!

to MAX!