Best Buy. . . . yeah right!

What's in a name, anyway? Well, with 'Best Buy' you would at least think you would get stuff at DARN GOOD prices, am I right?

Not so with this store---and I am on a RANT about this one let me tell you!

My youngest son and I decided to go to the 'Grand Opening' of the new Best Buy that opened up near our house yesterday. And to say that the place was crowded would be not only an understatement, it would be insulting to the very word!

MY GOSH!

This 'Best Buy Grand Opening' was akin to the grand opening of IKEA in our fair city---which caused massive riots, clogged freeways and byways for days due to the folks who DESPERATELY NEEDED simple furniture at reasonable prices. They camped out on the streets, alleyways and backwoods roads leading to the store for WEEKS ahead of time.

But I digress. . .

Let's just say the store was mobbed and we found that the prices were not only bordering outrageous--they completely passed up ludicrous and landed squarely on 'There is no way on God's green earth I would pay so much for this thing'. In other words, 'Best Buy' had to be an antonym, or someone's sick and twisted idea of a joke.

My son, undaunted and with money to burn in his pocket, picked out a wireless internet adapter for his X-Box 360 and some other odds and ends and then we had to wait in the 1.6 mile line that snaked around the store. . . Meanwhile I am checking out these other customers and their purchases and note that nearly every 3rd person had a 'Wii' in their basket--which made me silently smile and wish I had taken out stock in Nintendo.

To make a long, boring story short--as we neared the end of the line where the cashiers were tallying up the total purchases for folks, I noticed that nearly everyone was as smart as me and had brought their 10% off Grand Opening discount coupon that they got in the mail. . . and were TRYING to use it on their purchases to no avail. It was making me nervous if we really would get some semblance of a 'best buy' out of this day or not. . .

Here are some of the attempts I overheard:

Attempt #1:

Best Buy Cashier: That will be 796.53 please.

Customer: I have this 10% off coupon (hands coupon to cashier)

Best Buy Cashier: Uh, sorry sir that coupon is no good for these purchases.

Customer: But it's marked with today's date and my purchases total over 100 dollars--so I clearly should get 10% off, right?

Best Buy Cashier: Well, it's not quite that simple. See--you bought a Bose speaker system.

Customer: Yeah, so?

Best Buy Cashier: Well those are the best in the industry--and they are excluded from the 10% discount. See here, in the fine print? It lists all the products and conditions this does not include. (pulls out a magnifying glass and points to the offending word) BOSE is clearly marked, right THERE!

Customer: Well what about the digital camera? That's still over 100 dollars. Can I get 10% off that?

Best Buy Cashier: You could if it was the 3rd Tuesday of the month. But today is Saturday. (flips the coupon over to the backside and points out where digital cameras are on a 10% discount only the 3rd Tuesday of the month)

Customer: But this coupon expires in 2.7 days---so it won't be available for use by the 3rd Tuesday!

Best Buy Cashier: I know. Sorry--you have to pay full price. Have a nice day--and thanks for shopping Best Buy!

I was getting a bit MORE worried when I heard this next attempt. . . and so my son and I began putting our heads together, bending over the coupon and screening carefully to make sure that we qualified for SOMETHING.

Attempt #2:

Best Buy Cashier: That will be 198.74 for your items today.

Hopeful customer: (handing a sweaty discount coupon to the cashier) I have this 10% off coupon?

Best Buy Cashier: You have 2 Sony items in with your purchase. As long as you are buying Sony there will be no 10% discount given. Please read the massive list of items not included at the bottom of the coupon.

Becoming irritated customer: But the list of NOT included items is 10 times larger than the INCLUDED items!

Best Buy Cashier: I'm sorry, that's just the way it is. . .Thanks for shopping Best Buy!

My son and I were NOT going to go down without a fight. . . it was the principle of the thing--we pour over the discount coupon and frantically study our collective brains out when we overhear the customer just ahead of us.

Attempt #3:

Customer: (this guy sounded like he was trying to cover all the bases too) I have 3 items totaling over 100.00. I am not purchasing any 'top of the line' products. These are all 'off brands' and stuff that no one has heard of before. According to this 10% discount coupon I have, my external hardrive, memory card, and USB cable should all be covered under your computer components category. (He places all 3 items neatly on the counter and hands over the discount coupon)

The Best Buy Cashier pauses for a moment and carefully looks over the items, while scanning the discount coupon with a jeweler's croupier. The rest of us still waiting in line, watching this drama unfold were becoming quite heartened as we thought this gentleman just might pull it off and get his discount. . . But alas! It was not to be.

Best Buy Cashier: Aha! See this line second from the bottom? You cannot have a memory card and USB cable purchase WITH a hardrive purchase. It voids the coupon.

Customer: (not to be thwarted) OK--well. How about if you ring the cable and memory card up separately--and just give me the 10% discount on the hardrive?

Best Buy Cashier: But that would make your purchase UNDER 100.00. Items have to total over 100.00. The hardrive is on sale for 99.99. So no coupon discount for you!

Customer: Are you kidding?

Best Buy Cashier: (brightening up) I could ring it up at the regular price of 189.99 and give you the 10 discount if you like.

Customer: No thanks. Just ring it up at the sale price and forget the coupon.

Best Buy Cashier: OK then. Thanks for shopping Best Buy!

Now it was my turn. . . Oh boy!

Me: (smiling brightly and placing my son's items on the counter brand name down so the cashier wouldn't see) I see you are batting 1000 today on not honoring the Grand Opening Discount Coupons.

Best Buy Cashier: Well, if folks would just read all the items not included and the times and dates they are only good for, there wouldn't be so many problems.

Me: It must really be wearing you out.

Best Buy Cashier: (weakening and warming up to me, ringing the items up) It is a strain.

Me: How many have actually gotten away with it today?

Best Buy Cashier: Gotten away with what?

Me: Actually getting a 10% discount off their purchase.

Best Buy Cashier: Not very many, I can tell you that! And none from ME today--that's for sure!

Me: (beginning to hate this guy) Good for you! So, let's see. My items only total 100.99. . . I guess I won't be getting any discount either.

Best Buy Cashier: Oh yes you will! See--the coupon says items must total OVER 100.00 and yours DOES by 99 cents!

Me: Imagine that! But I'm sure that X-Box 360 wireless network adapter has GOT to be a banned brand name of some kind.

Best Buy Cashier: Oh it is! Microsoft is a big brand name that we normally are forbidden to discount---but this item DOES fall within the wireless computer adaptor components. So you're getting the discount, stop arguing with me!

Me: You don't say? Really you are too kind. (I hastily thrust the bagged, discounted merchandise into my bewildered son's hands and start to exit)

Best Buy Cashier: Not so fast!

Me: (thinking that now I have been caught and will have to pay the piper for sure) Yes?

Best Buy Cashier: I'm gonna give you another discount coupon for the next time you visit. This coupon is good only on every 3rd Thursday and only for selected merchandise which is explained in vivid detail in a very small font on the back--and only if you shop between the hours of 1:00 p.m. to 2: 15 p.m. We give these to our very special customers and I want you to take it. (presses discount coupon firmly into my hand)

Me: Wow! Thanks for letting me shop at Best Buy!

My son and I exit the store but not before we deposit the newly given discount coupon in the trash receptacle by the exit door. We notice that the receptacle is nearly FILLED with similar coupons from previous customers. . .

Arrrrgh! I was so irritated by the time I got home. . . I mean, WHY BOTHER?

All I can say again is BEST BUY??? Yeah, right!