The passage we call death. . .

I apologize in advance if this post becomes too wordy--as I have a myriad of thoughts on this subject since I have been exposed to the event of death in a very real and personal way recently. . .

In my experiences upon this planet--the death of a loved one is one event or facet of life that can truly cause profound changes in a person. . . you know, where you have what might be referred to as an 'aha moment' and truly stop and think what life is all about. . .

Thankfully, I haven't had to experience many such deaths yet--but I have had a few of these passages I've gone through and I know my life has been profoundly altered by each one.

I remember well, 3 & 1/2 years ago when I lost a very good friend and my own dear mother in the very same week. My mother's death was not unexpected, she was well into her 80's and her health was failing, yet even so, when she passed away it was still so heartbreaking to have her gone. My friend's death was very unexpected--he was only 54 and died suddenly and I had a hard time trying to come to grips that he really was gone and I would never again get to hear his laughter and endure his teasing and joking and see his smiling face and slurp up all the compliments he so generously gave. . .

I still think of them often and remember their faces and voices and words of cheer and comfort and advice--and in the case of my mother, there are times when I feel very close to her and that she is somehow watching over me. . .

More recently, just before Thanksgiving, I lost a very sweet next-door neighbor. We have had this amazing retired couple that live right next door to us. And they were such a 'class act.' They have been very close to our family and put up with our crazy, sometimes rowdy and noisy brood ever since we moved next to them almost 15 years ago. They never seemed to mind the pranks my kids pulled or the loud noises and music that might come from our home any time of day or night.

When the wife started becoming ill, I watched this man tenderly care for her and take over many things to keep her home with him so she wouldn't have to go into assisted care. He did the care mostly himself--with hospice folks coming on a regular basis to check up and help out when needed.

She died of congestive heart failure--the very same thing my own mother died of--and when her moment of passage came and he came to tell me the news, it was such a bittersweet moment. Bitter--because she was gone, and she was such a great, happy, caring, intelligent and fun lady--and a class act right up to the end of her life. And sweet--because her husband had been with her every moment right up to the end and was with her when she made this passage into death--so she wasn't alone or afraid.

We shared some precious moments and stories--and now, my neighbor, as well as my father--must learn to go on with this life without their beloved companions--until they finally make their own passage and can be reunited again with their loved ones.

And finally--just a few short days ago, I experienced the passage of another great friend. Words cannot adequately express the love and admiration and appreciation that I have felt (and still feel) for this kind, loving, amazing man.

My heart is pained in a way I cannot even describe. It's like part of my heart and soul is missing along with this great man. His death was also unexpected--and I took some consolation in the fact that he went very peacefully, sitting in his chair, watching his favorite golf channel.

There may or may not come into your life folks that touch your very soul and that you connect with in a deep and profound way. Anne of Green Gables calls people like this 'bosom buddies'. . . right from the start he and his wife were exactly that! Bosom buddies--deep friends--and the love we felt for them not only extended to them--but to their family as well. This love was reciprocated a thousandfold. They genuinely loved our children and grandchildren and we became part of their family--and have remained so ever since.

I received so much advice and counsel and laughter and stories and cheer and comfort and empathy and unconditional love from this man. I've laughed with him, cried with him, prayed with him, counseled with him, talked with him, and learned so much about how to live a Christ-centered life from him. When I think of a spiritual man--I think of him, when I think of a loving husband, father, and grandfather--I think of him. When I think of a successful, ethical businessman--I think of him. When I think of a talented and smart hobbyist of many things (a Renaissance man)--I think of him.

And his wife is not one whit behind him in any of his attributes. She and he are great individuals--but together--WOW! They transcend into the amazing realm.

The thing is--he wasn't perfect, he had many bad as well as good things happen to him throughout his life. But what he taught me about was the nature of his character--about how to REACT to the bad things that happen--how to make mistakes and pick yourself up, learn from them, move on and be better. This was what endeared me to him the most--and made me feel that I could overcome anything too--and gave me the strength to try and be better. . .

I think really good friends inspire you to be the best you can be and accept and love you for who you are, warts and all. And that's how he was to me and my family.

And though I feel somewhat shortchanged (that he left much sooner than I would have liked) I feel very blessed and privileged to have known him and got to share in a bit of his life and that our paths crossed and we spent lots of time together--because I am a better person because of him.

I still have his wonderful wife in my life--and will try and be a comfort and help to her as she learns to cope with his absence until they can be reunited again. . . and I am grateful for her love and example too.

I just felt that I had to share some moments to mark the passages of some truly great people that I have had the good fortune to come into my life. I have truly learned to respect and love and give and do as much as I can WHILE I still can.

You truly never know when someone you know and love might just make that passage into death--it can come unexpectedly at any time. . . and whether as a release from a lingering illness, a tragic accident or violent means, an unexpected event, or even a peaceful passing into the life beyond--it is always a profound event and forever leaves its mark upon the survivors. . .

How I dearly miss those loved ones who have taken this passage. . . and I have great hope, when my own time comes that I will see and hear and embrace them again. What a joyous reunion that will be. . .

Until then, I want to live up to the legacy that I have learned from their passing. I hope I don't disappoint. . .