No, I am NOT twittering! (But thanks for asking)

Are you kidding me? No, really! Are you seriously KIDDING ME? Cuz, you're KILLING me here!

I've been asked repeatedly if I 'twitter' and I am going to TWEET my answer once and for all in really simple language so everyone can understand where I'm coming from.

Oh! Maybe I should throw an explanation in here so those of you 'twits' who are uninformed about 'tweeting' will know what I'm talking about:

is another ridiculous vehicle for millions of people with absolutely nothing on their minds to be able to share their 'thoughts' to other equally mentally challenged folks who could care less. . .

In other words--never had so many folks with so little to say, said so much banality to so few.

Perhaps I'm being a bit snarky here. But the bottom line is that you basically share your 'tweets' (thoughts) about anything and everything at any time of day or night with your 'twits' (those who follow you) It's called 'twittering' and it is causing real socialization and actual conversation to teeter-totter on the brink of collapse.

"But Showme," (my friends who want to become twits apparently) will say to me. "You could have a real following. You can tell us what you are thinking about all the time and we would have access to the real you. You'd be a SENSATION!"



Put down the crack pipe and just THINK about that for a minute. I'm not sure anyone on planet earth is ready for the 'real me'. And even if by some miracle, a huge following (or heck, ANY following) was created in my twittering wake--let's face it--I just couldn't stand up to the pressure.

Holy Tweetmeister, Batman! I can barely keep up with my e-mail accounts, facebook, and this blog! (not to mention the real life I live out there somewhere past Twitterville)

I just can't see myself twittering on a daily, hourly, minute,millisecond basis. (at least not YET!) My life is just not that doggone exciting.

"But that's the POINT!" My friends shout at me. "You don't have to really say anything. You can write really dumb, random stuff."

Oh, really? And just what do they think this fabulous blog is already doing for me? I already write really dumb, random stuff. So why do I need a Twitter account? It's just one more thing adding to the pressure of my life to put statements out there on the interweb for. . . other folks who apparently love reading really dumb, random stuff.

Thanks, but no thanks.



I mean, what if I run out of things to say? What if my tweeter gets broken? I suppose I could make stuff up. Hey, wait a minute. . . I could make up really GOOD stuff. Juicy stuff! Horrific stuff! Stuff that could make the entire tweeting universe sit up and take notice. . .

Then again, I'd just like to lie back on a sandy beach somewhere and have a hunky cabana boy bring me cool drinks and chocolate drizzled yummies while I laze in the sun and surf. . .

So no. . . I don't think I will be 'twittering' anytime soon. . . But for those of you about to twitter--I salute you!

UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE!

Well, as I live and breath! I came across an article from someone who feels the same way I do about 'Twitter'. She's a life coach to boot! It's a pretty thought provoking article and to read it for yourselves (since I won't twitter about it) just click on the link (words) below:

Am I a Twit For Not Twittering?