I have this friend. . . no wait. . . maybe she will want to be referred to as just a passing acquaintance after this--so let's just say this 'person I know' called me up to make sure I was still on for our scheduled appointment for that afternoon.
We had secret plans and secret meetings that we had to attend to. (not really, but it sounds more interesting that way)
Anyway, the conversation went something like this:
Person I know: Are you still on for this afternoon?
Me: Yes--but I need to meet with a blind lady first.
Person I know: Really? I didn't know you were meeting a blind lady.
Me: Yes, she's coming to my house around 3:00 in the afternoon--and it should only take an hour.
Person I know: (Seemingly curious--but not quite willing to ask) Well, do you want to call me after you are through with your meeting and then I can pick you up?
Me: Sounds good--she should be done with the measurements by 4 or 4:30 at the latest.
Person I know: (rather incredulous) Why are you having a blind lady taking measurements? And of WHAT? Are you having a deaf man come to do a sound check next?
Me: (Can't talk very well due to hysterical laughing) She's not actually blind. I'm having new blinds installed in the windows of my house. She's coming over to measure them. I call her the blind lady--because she's selling me blinds.
Person I know: Ahhhh. Got it. (sounds of relief in her voice)
Me: But that gives me an idea.
Person I know: What?
Me: I'm thinking I do need a sound check on my surround system. I think I"ll look into it.
Person I know: Well, just remember. . .
Me: (interrupting) I think folks are way too literal.
Person I know: You mean, taking everything you say at face value--and believing literally everything you say?
Me: SHUT UP! That's exactly what I'm talking about. Folks are taking everything literally when they should be more open and relaxed. At least that's what the experts tell us, right?
Person I know: (silence)
Me: Right?
Person I know: (silence)
Me; RIGHT?
Person I know: (silence)
Me: Are you there?
Person I know: Of course I'm here.
Me: Why didn't you answer?
Person I know: You told me to 'shut up'--so I did.
Me: I didn't literally mean shut up. You know, it's just an expression. Like 'sick' or 'talk to the hand' or.'off the hook' or . .
Person I know: (interrupting) We're on the phone so I can't see your hand.
Me: Oh 'just get off the phone' I know that!
Person I know: (click)
Ummmm. . . I hope she's still gonna pick me up. . . .
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1 comment:
You had me going too!!!
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