Speaking of mothers. . . .

This is a timely topic, what with 'octoplet mommy' in the news and all the 'mommy blogs' out there on the interweb--so I thought I'd add my own 2 cents.

Actually, I need to give my dear daughter credit for the idea as she posted on her own blog about all the new skills she's had to learn being the mother of two little boys (with another one on the way)

When you are a young mom you learn to multi-task like the dickens and keep your young brood from killing themselves as well as being a proverbial nose and bottom wiper.

I had fun reading all the recent skills she's acquired such as:

Changing a diaper, talking on the phone, and making a mental grocery list for the day at the same time

And this one:

Removing pencil marks, crayon marks, and boogers from walls



That really got me to thinking how many skills I have acquired being the mother of four (with 3 now grown and 1 still left puttering around the ole' homestead) and a few grand babies thrown into the mix.

I came to the conclusion that mothering skills grow exponentially as the kidlets grow--so hang in there young moms! You will be abounding in seriously AWESOME parenting skills as your children age.

Here are some that I acquired as my children grew a bit older, hit puberty, and then became teenagers and beyond:

Being able to decipher all the subtle meanings of the word 'ugh' when it is a response to what you've asked. Also understanding the various nuances of 'yeah', 'whatever', 'huh', and 'mmmmm'.

I became adept at mind reading without ever having to look my children in the eye. I could do this from just seeing the angle of the back of their heads.

Finding new and clever ways of expressing 'I told you so' without actually having to say those words.

Proudly not overusing the phrase 'because I'm the mom, that's why'.

Finding out that reverse psychology has the reverse effect on a teenager and never works the way you want it to.

On weekends, being able to stay up all night worrying when they will get home safely--falling into a deep sleep when they come through the door--only to get up bright-eyed and perky a few hours later to start the day. (and never let them see you sweat)

Whenever asked, finding lost clothes, school assignments, keys, calculators, candy wrappers, spare change, discarded food items, glasses, video game controllers, TV remotes, books, games, odds 'n ends, and various friends in the oddest places of my domicile. (This was a talent I never knew I possessed--but I ended up using it constantly)

Playing doctor, nurse, therapist, life coach, social planner, cook, teacher, biggest fan, prosecutor, judge, banker, parole officer, chauffeur, maid, chaperon, friend, defense attorney, devil's advocate, psychic, and final authority on the matter all in one day. (and sometimes to just one kid!)

Staying young enough to enjoy their friends, games and activities and old enough to know when 'enough was enough' and time to bow out and give them room to be on their own.

Being the dumbest person on the planet most days--and yet the smartest person on the planet when real advice was needed.



Ahhh. . . and now that I'm a 'Nana'. . . it ain't quite over yet! I've got quite a few wicked parenting skills that came with a lot of effort and learning that I can practice on the next generation. I just wish I knew all that I know now when my own kids were little.

(And I've finally learned the biggest secret of all--grand kids are the reason why we have kids in the first place!)

Why can't we all just get along. . . seriously!

A good friend of mine sent me this youtube video and I was just blown away by it.

I love animals, especially elephants. I think they are amazing creatures. And this 'odd couple' involving an elephant, really made me think of that age-old plea: 'Why can't we call just GET ALONG, for cryin' out loud?' (or something to that effect)

I hope all my blogger friends enjoy this--it's only a couple of minutes:

The passage we call death. . .

I apologize in advance if this post becomes too wordy--as I have a myriad of thoughts on this subject since I have been exposed to the event of death in a very real and personal way recently. . .

In my experiences upon this planet--the death of a loved one is one event or facet of life that can truly cause profound changes in a person. . . you know, where you have what might be referred to as an 'aha moment' and truly stop and think what life is all about. . .

Thankfully, I haven't had to experience many such deaths yet--but I have had a few of these passages I've gone through and I know my life has been profoundly altered by each one.

I remember well, 3 & 1/2 years ago when I lost a very good friend and my own dear mother in the very same week. My mother's death was not unexpected, she was well into her 80's and her health was failing, yet even so, when she passed away it was still so heartbreaking to have her gone. My friend's death was very unexpected--he was only 54 and died suddenly and I had a hard time trying to come to grips that he really was gone and I would never again get to hear his laughter and endure his teasing and joking and see his smiling face and slurp up all the compliments he so generously gave. . .

I still think of them often and remember their faces and voices and words of cheer and comfort and advice--and in the case of my mother, there are times when I feel very close to her and that she is somehow watching over me. . .

More recently, just before Thanksgiving, I lost a very sweet next-door neighbor. We have had this amazing retired couple that live right next door to us. And they were such a 'class act.' They have been very close to our family and put up with our crazy, sometimes rowdy and noisy brood ever since we moved next to them almost 15 years ago. They never seemed to mind the pranks my kids pulled or the loud noises and music that might come from our home any time of day or night.

When the wife started becoming ill, I watched this man tenderly care for her and take over many things to keep her home with him so she wouldn't have to go into assisted care. He did the care mostly himself--with hospice folks coming on a regular basis to check up and help out when needed.

She died of congestive heart failure--the very same thing my own mother died of--and when her moment of passage came and he came to tell me the news, it was such a bittersweet moment. Bitter--because she was gone, and she was such a great, happy, caring, intelligent and fun lady--and a class act right up to the end of her life. And sweet--because her husband had been with her every moment right up to the end and was with her when she made this passage into death--so she wasn't alone or afraid.

We shared some precious moments and stories--and now, my neighbor, as well as my father--must learn to go on with this life without their beloved companions--until they finally make their own passage and can be reunited again with their loved ones.

And finally--just a few short days ago, I experienced the passage of another great friend. Words cannot adequately express the love and admiration and appreciation that I have felt (and still feel) for this kind, loving, amazing man.

My heart is pained in a way I cannot even describe. It's like part of my heart and soul is missing along with this great man. His death was also unexpected--and I took some consolation in the fact that he went very peacefully, sitting in his chair, watching his favorite golf channel.

There may or may not come into your life folks that touch your very soul and that you connect with in a deep and profound way. Anne of Green Gables calls people like this 'bosom buddies'. . . right from the start he and his wife were exactly that! Bosom buddies--deep friends--and the love we felt for them not only extended to them--but to their family as well. This love was reciprocated a thousandfold. They genuinely loved our children and grandchildren and we became part of their family--and have remained so ever since.

I received so much advice and counsel and laughter and stories and cheer and comfort and empathy and unconditional love from this man. I've laughed with him, cried with him, prayed with him, counseled with him, talked with him, and learned so much about how to live a Christ-centered life from him. When I think of a spiritual man--I think of him, when I think of a loving husband, father, and grandfather--I think of him. When I think of a successful, ethical businessman--I think of him. When I think of a talented and smart hobbyist of many things (a Renaissance man)--I think of him.

And his wife is not one whit behind him in any of his attributes. She and he are great individuals--but together--WOW! They transcend into the amazing realm.

The thing is--he wasn't perfect, he had many bad as well as good things happen to him throughout his life. But what he taught me about was the nature of his character--about how to REACT to the bad things that happen--how to make mistakes and pick yourself up, learn from them, move on and be better. This was what endeared me to him the most--and made me feel that I could overcome anything too--and gave me the strength to try and be better. . .

I think really good friends inspire you to be the best you can be and accept and love you for who you are, warts and all. And that's how he was to me and my family.

And though I feel somewhat shortchanged (that he left much sooner than I would have liked) I feel very blessed and privileged to have known him and got to share in a bit of his life and that our paths crossed and we spent lots of time together--because I am a better person because of him.

I still have his wonderful wife in my life--and will try and be a comfort and help to her as she learns to cope with his absence until they can be reunited again. . . and I am grateful for her love and example too.

I just felt that I had to share some moments to mark the passages of some truly great people that I have had the good fortune to come into my life. I have truly learned to respect and love and give and do as much as I can WHILE I still can.

You truly never know when someone you know and love might just make that passage into death--it can come unexpectedly at any time. . . and whether as a release from a lingering illness, a tragic accident or violent means, an unexpected event, or even a peaceful passing into the life beyond--it is always a profound event and forever leaves its mark upon the survivors. . .

How I dearly miss those loved ones who have taken this passage. . . and I have great hope, when my own time comes that I will see and hear and embrace them again. What a joyous reunion that will be. . .

Until then, I want to live up to the legacy that I have learned from their passing. I hope I don't disappoint. . .

The Loss Of A Faithful Friend. . .

This is one of those times in your life in which you have an 'aha moment' (as coined by a dear friend of mine)

It is difficult to find the words to convey exactly what I am feeling--but those of you who have gone through a similar experience I'm sure will understand. . .

This past Wednesday we put our beloved pet dog of nearly 14 years down. It was time. . . it's like knowing the inevitable is going to happen--but wishing and hoping somehow for a different outcome.

We rescued this adorable 'mutt' from the Humane Society shortly after our move here to the northwest. The kiddies had been BEGGING for a dog ever since we arrived in our new domicile--after almost a year of putting them off. . . I caved!

Call me weak-spirited--call me whatever you want, but the fact of the matter is--I packed all 4 of them into the family mini-van and off we went to see if we could find a dog to care for that had been abandoned or rescued. . .

After looking around and seeing the sad faces and yappy personalities of most of occupants of the cages I became discouraged. Even though the kids would have taken ANY of them in--I just wasn't impressed and couldn't see myself bringing any of them into our household.

That's when one of the workers pulled a stunt that I thought was only reserved for used car salesmen. He said they 'just got in' another dog in the back--but hadn't brought him out for the general populace to see yet. But he thought that it just might be the dog my family was looking for.

I was very skeptical--but waited with my howling kids who were looking at a morbidly obese dalmatian/dachshund mix who couldn't move from his sitting position and INSISTING we get this dog RIGHT NOW! (I didn't think he would fit in the car, nor was I sure that even all 5 of us could lift him)

Then. . . it happened. That 'moment' when you know your life is about to change forever. The worker brought out this amazing little lab/terrier mix dog. He was only about 30 pounds, fully grown (as he was 2 years old already) black, with a white patch on his underbelly, and the look that he gave me from those sweet chocolate brown eyes completely melted my heart.

Not to mention the fact that he looked EXACTLY down to his size and fur like the dog my dear hubby had grown up with. I mean this dog was like his former dog reincarnated or something. . . The kids and I did an audible gasp. . . and then we went into the 'cubicle' with the dog to check him out and see how he would be with the kids. It was ALL OVER at that point. They LOVED him (right down to the baby) and after being told he was completely housebroken, did NOT dig, would not run away, didn't shed much, could do simple math calculations in his head--(and all the other qualifications I had on my list of 'the perfect dog') we bundled him up and took him home. . .

The name on the paper from his former owners said 'Mickey', and after much arguing and debate among the children--we decided to keep his original name, since he responded to it quite well.

I was a bit anxious to see how dear hubby would react when he got home that evening and discovered our newest family member. Dear hubby took one look at our new pet and it was over for him too. . They bonded like a wet tongue to a metal pole on a freezing day!

And so began nearly 14 years of life with this dog who filled our home and hearts with laughter and love. He became my hubby and sons best hiking buddy. He also liked to camp and fish, take long walks by the beach, attend sports games and 'sing' when dear hubby played the harmonica or oldest son played the trumpet. (and truth be told, the dog's 'singing' sounded much better many times!)

I found out that he truly WAS housebroken, did not dig, and wouldn't run away--but the worker DID exaggerate a bit about the shedding (he did it a lot) and he wasn't too keen on math--but he had a pretty good handle on TIME and when he should eat and be let out to do his business. . .

Friends would comment on how amazing he was--because I can be 'picky' about some things--and we trained this dog to stay OFF the furniture and beds (except for one room where he was allowed to sleep with the kids) He wasn't allowed to go into the formal living and dining room and always kept out (even when we had guests and all of us were in there but him!) And he would wait by the front or back door when let back inside to have his paws wiped off if it was rainy or muddy.

He literally was the PERFECT dog. . . and yes he did some exasperating things at times--but over all he was an excellent fit for our family. . .

But he started getting older, and grayer, and hard of hearing, and then starting having more serious problems that dogs (as well as people) have when they age--and he wasn't eating and other things were going on in his body. . .

So the conundrum is--do you keep him alive and hope he doesn't suffer--or do you allow him to go peacefully without pain, before things start getting worse?

Dear Hubby and I were having these kinds of questions and conversations for the past several weeks. . .

Meanwhile the dog would rally--then get worse--rally right back, then get sick again--and so the cycle went. . .

Finally I made the decision to go ahead and take him to the vet for that 'final time'. I called dear hubby at work--and my youngest son and I went for a late afternoon appointment. . . and I was very impressed that the workers were so sensitive and kind and treated us and our dog with dignity and respect.

This youngest son of mine was just a baby of 3 1/2 when we got this dog--and now he was a big, strapping 17 year old young man who helped me take the dog in and stayed with him right to the very end. It was EXTREMELY bittersweet. There was no pain, we were holding and talking to him right up to the end. . . and then the vet left us to have a last moment and say our final goodbyes to our pet.

I never thought I would react as strongly as I did. I had been complaining about the recent 'accidental messes' this dog had been making since he had gotten older and sicker for quite sometime--but when it came right down to actually going through with it, and having him put to sleep--it was quite another matter entirely.

It's been 3 days and I still find myself waiting for him to greet me at the door (he was the BEST at welcoming anyone into our home) or thinking it's time to feed him and check his water dish, or stopping myself from calling out to him (especially when I've spilled food on the floor--as he was the quickest and best clean-up unit we had going)

Yeah, I know all about the 'circle of life' and all that. . . but it still SUCKS sometimes, ya know? One little 30 pound MUTT made such a huge impact and created such a GIANT space in my heart--and now it's GONE. . .

So even though, I'm having a hard time seeing for the tears to write this all down--I just HAD to remember him and tell about him and even though he is no longer here--I have pictures in my mind and feelings in my heart that will live forever. . . and now a few inadequate words on a blog to remember him by too. . .


Farewell beloved, Mickey. . . .

June 18, 2008

Do ya BLOG??????

I have a confession to make. . .

I have become somewhat of a 'blog tramp' since I entered the blog world last October.

And those of you who ALREADY ARE 'blog tramps' know exactly what I'm talking about!

At first it was just trying to figure out how to post something that made sense and figure out how to add pictures, videos, and links.

THEN it turned into an addiction to try and figure out how to add fancy script and wallpapers and better graphics and cooler stuff to write about.

THEN I REALLY CAUGHT THE BUG and found myself blog-hopping from one person's blog to another without rhyme or reason! I'd start on a friend's blog. . . discover ANOTHER friend's blog and click to see that one. . . then find an interesting name and check THAT blog out--and before I knew it, I was halfway around the world meeting folks like Uncle Albert of the U.K. and someone's Aunt Tillie who is into photography and sushi and has a new spread in South Carolina!

Along with my tramping about the blogger world--I DID manage to track down some peeps I actually knew! And that was like finding COOL PRIZES in my cereal box! Now I have my own regular peeps that I can check up on and find out all the crazy stuff they've been up to--and from there I can see THEIR PEEPS--and those peeps ALSO have peeps--and well. . . pretty soon I am 'tramping out' again!

So I admit it--I am a complete BLOG TRAMP---but hey! It's rather fun and I rather like it!

Oh--and welcome to all my NEW PEEPS! (and PEEPS of those PEEPS. . . don't wanna leave anyone out)

HAPPY BLOGGING!

Bucket list. . .

A good friend of mine and I went to see the movie 'The Bucket List' this week. . . and we both enjoyed it. It made me stop and think about my own 'bucket list' (or in other words: things I wanna do before I 'kick the bucket')

Without becoming too maudlin or esoteric or smarmy (those are really cool words, by the way!) I have a few things I would like to do before I vanish into the night.

Here's my personal 'BUCKET LIST'. . .

(Please be aware that this was thought up in the few quick minutes on the way back home from the movie theater--so it's still a work in progress)

Oh, and one more thing---let's assume that it's already a GIVEN that I will be spending some time with family/friends and contemplating the deep meaning of life, etc. . . OK?

OK--ready to proceed--and these are in no particular order:

1) Climb Mt. Kilimanjaro

2) Write a book

3) See the Great Pyramids, Great wall of China, Tour the Greek Isles, Visit Australia, New Zealand, Alaska, France, England, the ruins of Machu Picchu,and tour the Holy Land-(and any other exotic place that strikes my fancy between now and then that I read about or think of that I haven't already been to!)

4) Go on an archaeological dig of some sort in a far away land.

5) Go on an South African safari.

6) Act in some sort of community theater production--or better yet--TV or film!

7) Take some sort of dance or movement class and get pretty darn good at it.

8) Have some sort of 'get away' place, perhaps on an isle in the Bahamas, or Mexico--or even some cabin in the mountains or along the Oregon coast.

9) Drive a targa carera porsche, Audi TT roadster, or a BMW Z4 OR have owned a mini cooper or at least one little sports-type car for at least FIVE MINUTES!

10) Go on one game show or talk show and participate and have a great time.

11) Take a bunch of different classes on all kinds of subjects and continue learning always. . .

12) Help a complete stranger change their life for the better (and not have them know who did it) and not just one person--as many as I can. . .

13) Have my wits about me right up to the end. . . oh and if possible, the ability to fly and teleport!

That's all I could think of before I pulled into the driveway and got out of the car and back into reality. . .

If any of you reading this blog have some definite ideas for your own 'bucket list'--please feel free to leave a comment and let's add them to this post and see what great stuff we can come up with. . .

At the very least--I hope this inspired you think of your OWN ideas that you would like to try or do before you 'kick the bucket'. . .

Words to live by. . .

OK. . . a bit of a more serious note here. . .

Did you ever receive one of those e-mails from a friend that was forwarded by someone else A ZILLION times--and just as you are about to hit the 'delete' button you actually stop to read it and have an 'aha' moment?

For some reason at that precise moment it really connects--the light bulb goes on--the elevator reaches all the way to the top floor and you actually PAUSE TO THINK for a change. . .

Well, that's what happened to me this morning. I actually got TWO forwarded e-mails that made me do a deep intake of breath (before I reached for that delete button)! I'm not going to share these e-mails because they are stories you've probably heard before already anyway--but I WILL share with you what they made me think of:


1) The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

2) Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.

3) We don't stop laughing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop laughing.

Right now that song: 'I Hope You Dance' comes to mind. . . as well as a myriad of thoughts of how best to make lemonade of the lemons we are thrown sometimes--and how best to use this all too brief time period we call mortality.

Ahhh. . . that enjoy the journey and not just the destination advice we got from our 'elders' is beginning to make a lot more sense.

Sometimes you need that 'shot in the arm' from those mass forwarded e-mails that come unbidden into your inbox. . . And right now I think I need to dance!

Ahhh! Don't ya just LOVE the fall?

Yep! The autumn season is definitely upon us. . .Don't you just love those cold, crisp mornings? (although I could do without all those gray clouds and rain)

The wind blowing through the trees. . . the leaves turning all those gorgeous colors. . the crunch they make under your feet as they cover the ground and sidewalks. . . time to get out those sweaters and sweatshirt. . . heat up the hot cider and hot chocolate and munch on cinnamon rolls and warm cookies as you bask around that glowing fire. . .

I love living in the northwest where we experience a definite change of seasons and fall is my absolute FAVORITE time of year. . . Living close to the high school has me waxing nostalgic when I hear the marching band practices. . . and hear those cheers and screams of victory coming from the football field on Friday nights. . .

It's the ushering in of what I call 'the caloric holidays'---so one had best gear up so to speak--as you are about to embark on the biggest non-stop food fest of the year!

Of course, I am referring to the start of the Halloween season--which is already upon us, I might add--as I've already bought my Halloween candy for the kiddles, and have been munching on it for weeks already. . . (which reminds me--I will definitely need to buy a few more bags before the end of the month as these will definitely be COMPLETELY GONE and permanently attached to my thighs well before then!)

Next on the list is the Thanksgiving season--which jumps right in there with Halloween--and definitely not to be outdone as far as the FOOD INTAKE goes. MAN! I have already started preparing lots of practice dishes which are copiously sammpled by me and other family members--under the pretext of trying out every possibility for just the RIGHT traditional touch when the BIG DAY is actually upon us. I mean--who can pass up all the pies and cookies and tasty delights that the bakeries have on display RIGHT NOW. I am only doing my part when I consume these delectables before the expiration date says they are no longer safe. . .

And then--we have the Christmas season--which we all know really begins the day after labor day! I mean--come on! The stores are already partially decorated and selling Christmas 'home decor' as well as putting so many things on sale with the idea that you will purchase these items as gifts for 'someone on your list'---yeah--RIGHT! I am proud to say that I always purchase tons of items to have on hand as gifts well ahead of time with every intention of carefully wrapping and sending them off to loved ones far and near. . . but then again--these are such good bargains--and many of these items I personally cannot do without---and didn't Whitney Houston teach us that to love ourself was the greatest gift of all? So after I end up using/keeping these wonderful items--I am right there in the thick of it--suited up in full body armor (which is also flame-retardant), elbowing, shoving, biting, and clawing my way through the the other last minute shoppers to make absolutely sure I've gotten everything!

Oh--but I digress! The worst part--(nay, actually the BEST part) is the FOOD! Glorious food! The mother-load of treasure troves of indulgence when it comes to food--is to be had at Christmas time. . . and after Halloween and Thanksgiving. . . I mean, come on! Who are you trying to kid??? What's one more lil' indulgence--or two. . . or three. . . or thirty? Besides, you can always start over with the new year, can't you? Isn't that what New Year's resolutions are for?

And speaking of New Years. . . . well that just rounds out the list. . . because after you are literally ready to POP after Christmas--you can't stop without celebrating with a BANG and a ZILLION calories the ringing in of the NEW YEAR! Have you ever been to a party or gathering at New Years where there WASN'T a ton of food and drink involved???? Good grief just thinking about all this has made me gain a pound or two--and I think I might have just developed a cavity. . . SHEESH!

By the way. . . Did I mention that I JUST LOVE FALL????

Today I begin my adventures in blogging!

Hello, one and all!

I have no idea where this will take me---but the first step is to begin, right?

So I am jumping in with both feet and attempting to put down on paper (nay monitor) the tales and adventures of these crazy events I call 'life'. . .

I could have as well titled this blog 'Showmethejustice by Showmethesale' for many times I have been left to scratch my head in wonder at the inconsistencies, the ineptitude, foibles, and follies of men and women as they plunder in and out of my life. . .

Today is a good day---it's only 8:35 a.m. in the morning--so nothing much has happened yet! (this can be good or bad, depending on how you look at things)

And so begins my adventures in blogging. . . hopefully I have not disrupted the space/time continuum or reversed the polarities or imploded a black hole or something by my venturing into this unknown territory!

Let the adventure begin!